Today is your day...

I'll be the first to admit when I haven't been myself, and lately, I've found that I've been in that state. Why? Who ever really knows why? However, last night, amidst the stress that I was under, I cracked. I literally cracked up. I was having a glass of wine with a friend and going over some paperwork for my promotion at Starbucks. I was so tense and stressed about all of it that I literally created a tense knot in my back (which still hurts today, by the way). That is not normal. Or healthy. Or me. Amidst the paperwork, the researching, the definitions, and coming up with my answers for today's interview, I started laughing. Uncontrollably. This laughter lasted for about 25 minutes. Mixed with the laughing was crying. Mixed with the crying was smiling. Mixed with the smiling was tears. My stomach hurt from laughing. My eyes were raw from me rubbing the tears. My face hurt from smiling. Then it came to a halt, and I came into my own. I realized that I have been working on what other people have wanted me to work on. I have been doing things because it would be better for other people. I wanted the promotion because I knew I would be a great leader for the other Starbucks partners. Where was I in this equation? When did my feelings, emotions, thoughts come into play? That's where the problem lies: they didn't. I had become such a "yes, man" with so many of the situations that I forgot to pay attention to the person I should be paying a lot more attention to...me. When this revelation came about, it felt like a GINORMOUS weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I felt the clouds part and the sun shine through. I felt free, and what a glorious feeling. It's funny because I have become such a stronger and more confident individual through the years and have steered away from the "yes, man" mentality. I felt like a completely different human being when I woke up today. I feel taller. I feel stronger. I feel like I radiate energy to everything around me. I feel beautiful. I feel like me again...and man, is that an amazing feeling.

To help with my straightening my act up, I've given up coffee. So far, I've gone three days...which may not seem like a lot...However, if you were drinking as much coffee as I was, and worked at starbucks, it would seem like a huge feat to go three whole days. Well, this morning, I broke my promise to myself and got a small coffee. The cool thing is: I didn't even drink 1/4 of the cup and I was finished. AMAZING! I'm making small strides, but the efforts are paying off. I was consuming wayyyyyy too much coffee and espresso and I could feel it altering me, which prompted the change. I'm so proud of myself for doing this, for sticking to it, and for it actually making a difference.

Today I found out that "Hamlet: Prince of Darkness" will be extended for four more weekends through to the end of July, and is still the LA Times Critic's Choice! This is so amazing and exciting. Every show has been sold out, and we only have two more weeks left of this run. I'm so thrilled to be a part of this production. I also began work on the series with the Project Studio Film on Sunday. They have about twelve episodes written and ready to be shot. This is such an exciting opportunity, as well. They're currently prepping to shop the series around to different networks to get picked up. Whoo! We shall see. And my last bit of performance news: "Tuesdays at 4" was asked to perform at the 92nd St. YMCA in NYC at the end of September. This is a huge theatre space with a large clientele of senior adults. This is such an amazing opportunity and I cannot wait to be a part of this brilliant performance once again. :)

I will post the pictures for yesterday, as well as today, later this evening, but first I'd like to leave you with a song. Shania Twain has a new song out; it came out Sunday actually, and this song is so amazing. The lyrics, the groove, her voice - everything about it is perfect, and it perfectly correlates with my life right now. Enjoy. :)