Life is a valuable gift.

Have you ever sat and thought about all of the different people that have been a part of your life?  Some have come and gone, some have been around for a while, and some are brought in for just a short amount of time.  Have you ever thought about why these certain people are brought into your life?  Is it fate?  Destiny?  Do they have something to bring to the table that will ultimately change you in some way, and in turn, will help you along your path?  And of course, it goes both ways.  You are brought into their life to give them something in return.

I bring this topic up because throughout the past five years alone, I have lived on the east coast, the west coast, and of course the midwest, as well as traveled half way around the world.  Of all of the people I have met, though, some of the people that have had the most profound affect on me have been the seniors that I worked with at The Hallmark in Battery Park City, NYC.  The issue with becoming friends with these remarkable people?  The amount of time you are given with them is limited from the moment you meet them; you may only get a few days, or maybe only five years.  Of course, no one's life span is for certain, even for a twenty six year old.  However, going into this, I was brought in at the last chapter of their life, and I always ask myself: why?

I went hiking the other day and a question popped into my head, "what word represents me?".  Male. yes.  Actor.  yes.  Son.  Yes.  Leader.  Yes.  Though these words may define me, none of them, however, reach to the core, help explain my purpose.  Then "giver" popped into my head.  I give.  Through storytelling and acting, I give the audience a sense of wonder.  Through listening and being a good friend, I give my friends a sense of comfort.  Through being a leader, I help others find direction.  Through being me, I help to make a difference in peoples' lives.  And that is the answer to why?  I was brought to the Hallmark to not only make a difference in these seniors' lives, but so that they could inspire and instill their wisdom and experiences within mine.

My friend, Dorothy (early 90's) passed away this past Sunday.  She was one of those people you meet that have a heart as big as the universe.  Her smile and laugh instantly made anyone else smile, and her sense of love was infectious.  She was in my Tuesdays @ 4 class and we instantly clicked.  We exchanged "I love you"'s after every class (as did everyone in the class - we are a very close knit family) as well as gave big hugs.  There was not a day that went by that she didn't Thank myself, Marnie, or Whitney for having the class and giving her the opportunity to be a part of it.  At the beginning she was a little shy, but I would always call her out and make her participate in a given exercise.  At the end of class, she would always thank me and say that she wanted to get up, but was too nervous, and since I made her get up, it gave her the courage to participate.  Throughout the next few months, she would be one of the first to jump up and participate.  When I left the Hallmark in June 2010, she came up to me with tears in her eyes and thanked me for making a profound difference in her life.  I helped her overcome some of her shyness and gave her new courage.  I helped her accomplish a dream of being on stage.  I changed her life for the better and she was glad she had the opportunity to know me and become friends with me.  Now, you can imagine my shock.  Me, a twenty five year old, have changed someone's life in their early 90's.  Those powerful words made me cry then, and again today as I remember that moment we shared when she told me that. 

The point of this story is, it's never too late to make a difference in someone's life.  People can influence you in ways you never could have imagined.  We just need to live each day and stop worrying about all of the unnecessary drama that occurs daily. 

Another friend, Minnie ( 80's), passed away this week, too.  She was very different than Dorothy.  She was depressed.  She didn't have many friends, and generally had a negative attitude.  I called her out on it.  I would bring a positive spin on things.  She would come to swim in the pool and work out, as well as talk about theatre, art, and the news.  (She went everywhere and did everything.  She was definitely far from a homebody.)  The thing about her is, she started swimming more to get more exercise because she enjoyed talking to me.  Sometimes, that's all someone needs; someone to talk to.  I am very thankful that I was that person.  I gave her something to look forward to.  I was one of those few friends that she had, and for that hour or two that she worked out in the pool, I gave her that comfort that someone was there for her.  Although she didn't necessarily approve of my life in the arts, she 100% supported me, and believed in me.  She said she admired my courage and knew that I would make it far because of my talent and my determination.  I made a different in her life, and she made a big difference in mine.

Friends come and go.  Words come and go.  But the way someone made you feel remain within your memory. 

Remember to tell those you love that you love them.  Be that extraordinary person in someone else's life.  Better yet, be that extraordinary person in your own life; it'll carry over and in turn change yours and theirs for the better.

Rest in Peace Dorothy and Minnie.  By knowing you, you have changed my life forever.

My year in review...

I have decided to compile all of my 366 pictures (Leap Year, remember?!) from the past year into a slideshow.  It's amazing to see, in just under five minutes, how much one can change and grow within a year span.  Friends come, friends go.  Lessons are learned.  Obstacles are overcome.  What may have once seemed important is now futile, whereas something that maybe wasn't important before is invaluable.  We must take in the moments, tell those we love  that we love them, and live every day to its fullest.  And remember to find the beauty in everyone and everything.

Enjoy.  I hope you enjoyed following my journey thus far.

The Last Picture

SUNDAY JUNE 3, 2012

 

Life is very peculiar and interesting.  I came to the coast today to become refreshed, rejuvenated, re-inspired.  I left with a sense of a new beginning within me, of hope for tomorrow, and of a new love and zest for life.  It is as if one chapter has closed and another is opening; a transition, if you will.  I find this interesting because it just so happens to coincide with the final day of my one year picture challenge...

One door closes; another one opens...

The last few days

SATURDAY JUNE 2, 2012

 Looking for my zen.  I needed a place to sit, contemplate, meditate, breathe, and think over everything that's been on my mind lately.  I came across this bench overlooking the Pacific Ocean.  Inhale.  Exhale.  Breathe.

FRIDAY JUNE 1, 2012

 

 The beach isn't too far away since I'm already in Santa Monica, so I made my way over to the water to take it all in and breathe in the salty air.

THURSDAY MAY 31, 2012

 

This is Pig - Juli and Anthony's dog.  I am Pigsitting for the weekend.  She has one of the most defined personalities I have ever encountered in a dog, which makes for a hilarious time, of course.  This was just one of the many toys she kept bringing to show me/play with me in a small period of time before she passed out from playing so hard.

Me

I went to the ocean today.  I didn't go to check out the waves, to feel the sand on my feet, or to bask in the sun.  I went to re-ground myself, to connect to my center, to re-find who I truly am, as well as sort through disturbing thoughts that have entered into my life recently.  I sat.  I looked out onto the endless horizon, and I prayed.  Not the "God, are you listening?" type of praying, but more of a "universe, here are my thoughts and help me sort them" type of praying.  I sipped my soy caramel mocha (no whip, of course), and I allowed thoughts to flow.  I mumbled out loud.  Tears were shed.  Chuckles escaped from my mouth.  If there were any passer bys, I would have seemed absurd and crazy, however, I was alone.  My range of emotions coursed through my body in a matter of time, and I felt refreshed.  I felt rejuvenated.  I felt re-enlightened.  Sometimes, all we need to do is take the time to really allow our bodies and souls to feel and exist in the emotions that we are maybe putting on the back burner, instead of actually living them.  It's ok to cry.  It's ok to laugh.

Because of recent events, I have been stuck in a self judgment phase, which I have not been in in a few years.  I would have to say that was one of my greatest feats in my life thus far - was pushing away all of my self judgment, facing my inner "demons," and truly being who I am.  Lately, I've had a lot of "friends" act in certain ways and say specific things to make me second guess myself, my actions, my beliefs, and who I truly am.  That is not ok.  To live every day judging yourself, walking on egg shells, and putting yourself down is not a way to live.  By re-connecting with myself today, I realized that that has been what has been bothering me lately and what has been constantly on my mind.  I'm not saying I'm perfect, no one is.  However, I do know that I am a terrific friend, son, brother, employee, manager, leader, and individual.  I know that I would do anything if it means that it would help someone in some way.  I know that I would work harder to make someone else smile and enjoy their life a little more.  I look for the good in people.  I find the good even in the most dire of situations.  I am positive, optimistic, and driven.  Why would/should I put myself down?  That's a question that a lot of the world should ask themselves.

I found out today that someone that I went to school with is still going around and saying that I am untalented, as well as a plethora of other nasty and negative sayings.  My thoughts: if that's what makes you feel better about everything, then by all means keep putting me down.  However, putting someone else down, making fun of someone, or thinking negatively will only hurt you in the long run.  I can only say this:  I really do wish only the best for everyone...even if you've been insanely nasty to me (which there are a large number of people that fall into this group).  Everyone deserves their shot.  One day, they'll realize good prevails, and someone else will be helped on their journey.

The purpose of this post is to remind us all to be true to ourselves.  To remind us that when we feel lost, at rock bottom, or at a point of despair, we must remind ourselves of the amazing individual beings we each are and what we are capable of.  We must remind ourselves that we can be greater than anything we ever imagined if we stay determined, driven, and allow our heart to pour into everything.  Negative comments will come, it's a fact of nature, however, so will positive.  Breathe in the positive, throw away the negative.  Live.  Be you.  Breathe.