Dreams Faltered but Strengthened

 TUESDAY NOVEMBER 27, 2012

 I had a rough day today.  I was down on myself.  I thought back to all of the negative, nasty people in my life who have doubted me, who made fun of me, who didn't believe in me - until I began to figure out who I was and surrounding myself with great energied people.  People say you are your harshest critic, but for a lot of my life, I was a far nicer critic on myself than people I encountered - peers, friends, teachers.  However, through it all, my passion, my drive, my pursuit of my dream never faltered, and although I may not be where I would like to be just yet financially or career-wise, I am on my way.  I am respected by fellow actors and directors.  Casting Directors praise me in their workshops.  The just hasn't been quite right yet, but it will be.  And because I believe, I know my wants, my visions, my dreams - they'll come true.

This is a little plaque I have that Danielle bought me one year for Christmas.  This is what turned my negative thoughts into positive ones, and steered me in the right direction again.  "If you can dream it, you can do it."  Absolutely.

MONDAY NOVEMBER 26, 2012

 I spent the day at Disneyland.  (Mom, that annual pass you got me for my birthday has definitely already paid off. Thank you!!)  We purposely went to watch the show "World of Color" in California Adventure.  What a show it was.  Lights, lasers, water, mist, fountains, images, projections, music, syncopation  - all of it was beautiful, breathtaking, and a visual masterpiece.  

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 25, 2012

 

 Julie and I skyped.  This picture is clearly one of the best we've ever taken together. ha. just kidding.  I love my skype dates with my best friends from the other coast...but it always makes me a little sad because I wish I could be physically in their company.  Soon enough.

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 24, 2012

 

 I hiked for the first time in a while today.  I forget how much it really helps me clear my thoughts, negative or clouded, and helps me grip with reality, goals, and ideas.  I always get to a sort of zen state afterward that's both rewarding and freeing.

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 23, 2012

 

 The puppies.  The tree was up, and therefore, it was photoshoot time with Cassie and Lola.  I just love these puppies so much and cannot wait to give them huge hugs when I am home in a month.  

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 22, 2012

 Thanksgiving Dinner at Mattie's.  I made turkey, tofurkey, cheezy pototaoes, corn, stuffing, green beans, mashed potatoes, broccoli rice, gravy, and rolls...and for whatever reason, I doubled the servings of everything.  (I'm not used to cooking for more than one!)  Of course we had plenty of wine and pumpkin pie, as well.  It was a nice, chill, relaxing Thanksgiving.  It definitely made me realize all of the things that I am thankful for and have to be thankful for.  I am so blessed to have met and become friends with all of the beautiful people in my life.  What a journey it has been so far, and I cannot wait to continue enjoying the ride.

 WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 21, 2012

 I have said it before (many times), and I will probably say it again (many more times), but I am so very thankful for technology.  Because of video communication technology (did I sound smart?), I was able to video chat with the family in Michigan, as well as Nicholas and Katie in Atlanta to celebrate my mom's birthday.  So, we were virtually and literally able to sing Happy Birthday.  So awesome.

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 20, 2012

Best Friend Day at The Grove with Lauren.  We saw "Wreck It Ralph" and walked around just a little bit while soaking up the Christmas magic that was around us.  Lauren is one of those people that you can count on to lift your spirits, laugh with, and have a good time with - always guaranteed.  Very lucky to have her in my life.

Thankful and Blessed.

 MONDAY NOVEMBER 19, 2012

 Some nights, the best thing to do is stay in and have a movie night by yourself.  So, I made myself some popcorn, poured a little bit of pineapple coconut water in a glass, and threw on one of my favorite all time movies, "Grease."  I haven't watched this movie in forever, but have been wanting to.  Let me tell you, I am just as much in love with it as I was when I was younger.  There's a reason this movie is a classic and timeless.

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 18, 2012

 Karaoke night.  Sundays are generally the only night I tend to go out, and it's after I close.  We head to Barney's Beanery right down the street from work; they have karaoke.  This night, we had a small group of people, which was a lot of fun.  Nick, myself, Scott, and Steph singing "Total Eclipse of the Heart."  Pretty epic.  Really funny.

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 17, 2012

"Friendsgiving" Dinner over at Matt's.  Matt had a bunch of his friends over at his place down in Redondo Beach for a Thanksgiving potluck dinner.  So much fun.  Here are pictures of Melissa, Casey, and I, as well as with Brynn and Matt.  I am so thankful to have them as my family out here.  It's comforting and humbling to know they're only a phone call and a drive away.  I am blessed to have become best friends with Jamie nine years ago, and have her family become mine.  People are definitely brought into our lives for specific reasons.  Love it.

 FRIDAY NOVEMBER 16, 2012

Very rarely do I drive in rain, this was the beginning of a two day stint driving in the rain.  It's a beautiful city in the sunlight, but for some reason, it's just as beautiful in the rain, as well.

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 15, 2012

 I went to the LA Zoo with Nick and Scott.  I said I'd be happy just to see the elephants.  The first thing we run into?  The elephants - at feeding time.  So, I got to see them oh, so close to me.  Elephants are such beautiful beings.  I want to give an elephant a big hug one day. :)

 WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 14, 2012

 

 Disney day with my friend, Drew.  It was so amazing and stress free.  We didn't wait in line for longer than five minutes for anything.  We talked, walked around, and laughed all day.  I love Disney, but I absolutely love it when it's decorated for the holidays.  Christmas is my favorite holiday; I just love everything about it (except the crazy shoppers...which is why I don't go shopping. :)  There's no way the Christmas decorations can't make you smile.  I think I get it from my mom, she always made Christmas a big deal with decoration, playing in the snow, making cookies, playing Christmas music, and watching Christmas movies.  Anyway, we were about to leave Disney, and they lit up with the castle with "snow."  Absolutely beautiful.

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 13, 2012

 I met up with Crystal today at Urth Cafe.  (Delicious almond milk green tea lattes, fyi.)  We've been trying to meet up for literally two months; we texted each other every week and our schedules just kept conflicting.  It's just so nice to have that friend that knows you so well and you can just relax, talk about life, and share different ideas and beliefs.  I am very thankful for her in my life, and can hardly believe it's already been eight years that we've been friends - four of which we never lived in the same state.  Crazy.

MONDAY NOVEMBER 12, 2012

 Happy Veteran's Day!  This drink was literally dedicated to all of my friends and family that have served the country.  It was never easy, them being away, but we all owe so much to them.  Thank you!

 SUNDAY NOVEMBER 11, 2012

 I am obsessed with Cream of Broccoli soup.  When I worked at Macy's, I always used to go to Le Pain on the 8th Floor to grab it.  At The Hallmark, I made Whitney always check to see if they had it when she would make her salads at Whole Foods.  Now, I always check over at Subway for it while at work.  It's so delicious and totally hits the spot every single time.  I'm currently looking for a vegan recipe for it...which could spell trouble because I would be making/eating it all of the time.

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 10, 2012

 Edamame!!!!  I am obsessed with this food - soy beans in a pod.  They have a whole bag at Trader Joe's for only $1.30.  I was cold and was talking to one of the workers at the bank when I was bringing the deposit from work over, and she was telling me I might be low on iron and I should have some edamame.  (No one really needs to tell me twice to eat this, love it!)  Apparently, it has a good amount of iron in it.  After buying the bag, I realized it does, as well as a good amount of protein, and with me being a vegetarian now, that is good news to me. :)  So, yay to eating more edamame.

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 9, 2012

 I walked outside and saw....snow clouds?  Well, that was my first thought, at least.  Snow clouds and palm trees?  Where do I live?  ha.  Luckily, it did not snow.

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 8, 2012

 On my way to work, I decided I wanted pancakes.  Since I was going to be pretty early anyway, I decided to stop at IHOP and grab some pumpkin pancakes and a glass of orange juice.  Let me tell you, what a great decision and an awesome way to start my day.  (p.s. that lump of white on the back of my place is a whole lot of butter that they gave me. ew.  I clearly didn't use it.)

 WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 7, 2012

 I spend so much time in my car.  I take for granted a lot of my the things I see.  Today, I happened to look in my side view mirror and just really realize how beautiful it is around me.

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 6, 2012

...and Obama is our new President!  What a crazy election process.  I love being out at a bar or public place when the president is announced because the excitement in the air is contagious and awesome.  When he won in 2008, I was at Studio 5 in NYC.  We ended class early and watched the election, then went out to one of the bars.  People are hugging and high fiving on the streets, buying randoms shots at the bar; it's a togetherness you barely see.  What I didn't like about the election, though, was how divided everyone was.  I get it - everyone has their opinions, but the hateful remarks and negative reactions were just sickening.  The only way anything will get better anywhere is by everyone working together.  Republican, Democrat, White, Black, Gay, Straight, Poor, Rich - we're all living beings that should be working together and using our ideas to make our country our better place, not by working against each other.  And so, I say "Four More Years" to the man who is fair and willing to listen and work together for everyone's best interest.

Live. Laugh. Love

I've come to realize over the course of the past few weeks that I hinder myself from being social.  I go to lunch.  I grab a drink.  But I don't allow myself to relax because I feel I have too much to do.  That's stupid.  I made a goal, and am currently sticking to it (as you will see) to make sure I am experiencing my life.  To make sure I am not holding myself back.  To make sure I am staying on track with my goals and dreams, but also staying on track with being a social, outgoing, adventurous being.  So, my task for you, is to make sure you are living life also.  To make sure that you make that time for yourself, for the friends you haven't seen in a while, to laugh.  I realized (after I laughed so much this weekend) that I haven't laughed, I mean, truly laughed, in a while.  And that's not ok.  Laughter breathes life.  Live.  Laugh.  Love.  Right?

MONDAY NOVEMBER 5, 2012

 

 Beach day with Mattie!  (The pic is Mattie jumping into the waves.) We randomly decided to head to the beach because the temperature was in the 90's.  So, we headed on over to Will Roger's beach and played in the waves!  Yes, I finally went into the ocean.  After being here for two years, I finally went into the ocean over my waist.  It was such a relaxing day.  We laid out, talked, wrote, AND saw dolphins.  You know it's always an AMAZING day when I see dolphins.  :)  Loving life.

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 4, 2012

 *Today marks my two anniversary in LA*

 

 I headed down to Santa Monica to have dinner and watch a movie with Julie and Anthony, but stopped at the beach beforehand.  I just had an urge to see the sunset.  I stood there for about 45 minutes and just thought.  about everything.  It helped ground me, to realize what is important in life, and to not let the little things bother me.  There is so much more out there in the world. It's a beautiful place.  The evening ended up being a great one - Julie made an excellent dinner and we watched (dare I say it) Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1.  Julie made us!  ha ha.  Anyway, great company, great laughs, great times.  Love having them as my family out here.

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 3, 2012

 Casey invited us to go tailgating with her, Brynn, and some of their friends for the UCLA vs. U of A game.  What a blast.  We played gamed, grilled, drank, and again, laughed a ton.  I haven't tailgated since college, so it was definitely a fun experience, and very different.  We were there for the company and the experience, not to just drink.  Such a lovely day.

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 2, 2012

 

 Melissa came out to join us at and have a drink.  Michigan in the house! ha.  I'm a nerd.  Anyway, it was so wonderful to have two people that I love, from home, in the same place.  They're such wonderful friends with terrific energy and I am truly blessed to have them in my life.  We talked so much, laughed a ridiculous amount, were weirdos, and obviously had a photo session.  Perfect night.  (This was actually from the night before, but it was after midnight, so it counts as this day. :)

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 1, 2012

Sean was in town for a day!  He is en route to Portland, Oregon and decided to take the long way from Phoenix and drive up the coast.  So, he stopped for a day in Costa Mesa to visit his friend, Lindsey, then spent the next day with me.  We went to Santa Monica and walked the beach, had a drink on the pier, ate some Thai, and obviously talked a lot and caught up.  It was such an amazing day.  It's so awesome the people that you are blessed with in your life that continue to be there as time goes on even through distance and all that life throws at you.  This year marks us being friends for nine years.  Crazy!

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 31, 2012

 Halloween has arrived.  Here we are as Harry Potter characters.  Alesha as Luna Lovegood, Myself as Harry Potter, and Mattie as Draco Malfoy.  We worked all night amidst the craziness that was West Hollywood's Halloween Festival.  Although it was wildly busy, we definitely made the night fun with great music, being goofs, and dancing while helping customers.  Definitely a good time even though we were working.

 TUESDAY OCTOBER 30, 2012

 I needed to think.  To clear my mind.  To write.  To reflect.  So, I naturally headed to the beach.  It was foggy and cold, so I was wrapped up in my scarf and long sleeves, but it was well worth it.  I left refreshed and ready to take on the world.  Note: need to remember to make time for self.

MONDAY OCTOBER 29, 2012

 Nick and I headed to the bar after a long day at work in costume!  He was Finn and I was Harry Potter.  It was karaoke night at Barney's.  I sang "New York, New York" in honor of all of my friends in NYC dealing with Hurricane Sandy.  Then we sang a duet to Ghostbusters.  The bar LOVED that one. So much fun.

SUNDAY OCTOBER 28, 2012

 Brunch at Alesha's.  Nick and I gathered over at her place and made pancakes, eggs, and mimosas.  That would be Tonks (the cat) drinking out of my mimosa.  She absolutely loves me and for whatever reason always wants to eat my food or drink from my glass.  Eh. Good thing I love animals. :)

SATURDAY OCTOBER 27, 2012

 

 Nick as Finn from AdventureTime and Me as a Newsie at Justin's Halloween Party. I love the creativity involved with coming up for costumes for Halloween.  Next year, I'm going to be something awesome...I just have to think of what it will be...

FRIDAY OCTOBER 26, 2012

 The Annual Halloween Party at Jim, Adam, and Jeremy's.  (Last year, I fell asleep through it and never made it.  oops.)  It was a blast catching up with all of my favorite people that I've met doing theatre out here, as well as meeting new people.  Here is Lauren, Jeremy, and I.  The three musketeers that haven't been together in quite some time.  Great night.  Always a good time.

THURSDAY OCTOBER 25, 2012

 Martin and I went out for happy hour today!  We try to do this as often as we can (which proves to be only about once a month/every two months) because our schedules conflict like crazy.  It's nice to sit and talk with him because he's so chill, is a great listener, and is great company.  I'm so thankful I've made such wonderful friends out here.  (By the way, he's eating fried pickles - Danielle's food of choice at a bar...I mean, always. :)

 WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 23, 2012

 

 I decorated the store for Halloween!  Cobwebs and big spiders everywhere!  I love holidays and the excitement that comes with it.  Just by decorating the store, morale and positivity went up with the team.  It just goes to show a little team spirit can go a long way.

TUESDAY OCTOBER 23, 2012

 

My thoughts were proving to be insightful with a zen like quality.  I was warm and comfortable in my sweater sipping my pumpkin spice latte. I was content.  I captured the moment.  This is me.  Uninhibited.