Me

I went to the ocean today.  I didn't go to check out the waves, to feel the sand on my feet, or to bask in the sun.  I went to re-ground myself, to connect to my center, to re-find who I truly am, as well as sort through disturbing thoughts that have entered into my life recently.  I sat.  I looked out onto the endless horizon, and I prayed.  Not the "God, are you listening?" type of praying, but more of a "universe, here are my thoughts and help me sort them" type of praying.  I sipped my soy caramel mocha (no whip, of course), and I allowed thoughts to flow.  I mumbled out loud.  Tears were shed.  Chuckles escaped from my mouth.  If there were any passer bys, I would have seemed absurd and crazy, however, I was alone.  My range of emotions coursed through my body in a matter of time, and I felt refreshed.  I felt rejuvenated.  I felt re-enlightened.  Sometimes, all we need to do is take the time to really allow our bodies and souls to feel and exist in the emotions that we are maybe putting on the back burner, instead of actually living them.  It's ok to cry.  It's ok to laugh.

Because of recent events, I have been stuck in a self judgment phase, which I have not been in in a few years.  I would have to say that was one of my greatest feats in my life thus far - was pushing away all of my self judgment, facing my inner "demons," and truly being who I am.  Lately, I've had a lot of "friends" act in certain ways and say specific things to make me second guess myself, my actions, my beliefs, and who I truly am.  That is not ok.  To live every day judging yourself, walking on egg shells, and putting yourself down is not a way to live.  By re-connecting with myself today, I realized that that has been what has been bothering me lately and what has been constantly on my mind.  I'm not saying I'm perfect, no one is.  However, I do know that I am a terrific friend, son, brother, employee, manager, leader, and individual.  I know that I would do anything if it means that it would help someone in some way.  I know that I would work harder to make someone else smile and enjoy their life a little more.  I look for the good in people.  I find the good even in the most dire of situations.  I am positive, optimistic, and driven.  Why would/should I put myself down?  That's a question that a lot of the world should ask themselves.

I found out today that someone that I went to school with is still going around and saying that I am untalented, as well as a plethora of other nasty and negative sayings.  My thoughts: if that's what makes you feel better about everything, then by all means keep putting me down.  However, putting someone else down, making fun of someone, or thinking negatively will only hurt you in the long run.  I can only say this:  I really do wish only the best for everyone...even if you've been insanely nasty to me (which there are a large number of people that fall into this group).  Everyone deserves their shot.  One day, they'll realize good prevails, and someone else will be helped on their journey.

The purpose of this post is to remind us all to be true to ourselves.  To remind us that when we feel lost, at rock bottom, or at a point of despair, we must remind ourselves of the amazing individual beings we each are and what we are capable of.  We must remind ourselves that we can be greater than anything we ever imagined if we stay determined, driven, and allow our heart to pour into everything.  Negative comments will come, it's a fact of nature, however, so will positive.  Breathe in the positive, throw away the negative.  Live.  Be you.  Breathe.