"Shudder" opens on Friday at Zombie Joe's Underground Theatre in the NoHo Arts District, and I could not be more excited to be in my first play here in LA. It has been an amazing experience on so many levels. I keep thinking back to my audition...the director, Amy, asked me if knew anything about the theatre and why I wanted to be cast in the show. I said that I knew the theatre put on thrilling shows that always pushed the envelope. I wanted to be in the show because it was different from anything I have ever done before, and it would be a challenge, but I love challenges. I love being presented with an opportunity to grasp a challenge, to finally overcome it, and then build even more from there. I can proudly say that I have done just that with this play throughout the rehearsal process. I have taken on characters that are gnarly, grunting, miserable, and evil. I have taken on characters with a physicality that makes you uncomfortable because my body shouldn't be moving in that fashion. I have grasped the ability to be as crazy and energetic as the Mad Hatter and in a moment's time change over to possess the rage and pure hatred of the devil. What I am also most proud of, is my ability to control my entire body with each character...each movement of a finger, every step I take, every breath I breathe, has a purpose, a form, a specific intention, and my character owns it. Remember back to when I was talking about working as an extra on the set of Demi Moore's "The Reasonable Bunch." Remember how I spoke of her and Ellen Barkin's innate ability to command the space with every fiber of their being? They owned the roles they were playing and it showed? I feel that now. I know what it looks like and how powerful it is because of those two actresses, and now I know what it feels like in my own body when I am in power like that. The result? A compelling, intriguing, and unique character. I think this play is showcasing some of the best work I have ever done, and I am most proud of what I have put into this show. On another note, as you know that I love movement pieces, one was added in...and I am the mover. I enter the stage as a phantom, sort of jester-ish, and I "possess" the boy. Essentially, I move and he mirrors every move I make. It's sooooo cool looking and feeling. To be able to take on a mute character with this sort of ability, and convey emotions through movement, is remarkable and amazing. I am extremely grateful that Amy has given me the opportunity to be a part of this new production. It's a great feeling to literally feel how I am growing as an actor with each project I am taking on, with each character I get to tackle. From the time I left Studio 5 to now, it has been an uphill climb with obstacles and challenges, which resulted in triumphs and successes. I am truly excited to see what else the future has in store because I am ready, my confidence is there, I know I have the talent and drive, and I know I can tackle anything.
It is amazing how a genuine "How are you" or compliment can really go a long way. When customers come up to the register at Starbucks, I generally ask "How are you doing?" or "How is your day going?" and I am completely and utterly genuine about it...and they can tell that I am also genuinely listening for a response. So many times those questions are thrown around and people forget their meaning. The questions are actual questions. I don't ask it if I don't feel like hearing a response. If they're having a bad day, I always hope that my upbeat personality, smile, and "witty" remarks will at least help them smile for those few moments. A smile can really help take your mind off of everything else, even for a moment, and fill you with a happy emotion. I've seen it happen. People have thanked me and my co-workers for "making them smile" or laugh, and then went on their way. That's what life is about...making a difference...even for a moment. Yes, it may not mean much, but that person may have just gotten yelled at by their boss, lost their dog, forget their wallet at home, just gotten broken up with, or whatever the case may be, and to be able to go somewhere where the workers just want to make you smile and happy? That's a pretty great thing.
I was leaving work the other day and there was an overabundance of pastries. I asked if I could have some instead of having them being thrown out at the end of the day; I figured I could take them to rehearsal. Actors are always hungry. I left work with two little bags of pastries. I was walking home and I passed a homeless man. Without even thinking, I walked up to him and gave him one of my bags, and went on my way. It hit me afterward what I had done impulsively. It's amazing how sometimes the heart acts before your head even gets the opportunity to assess the situation. I would have given him a bag anyway had it crossed my mind, but it didn't...my heart spoke first.
Be genuine. Be real. Be you. Speak with your heart.
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