This week has been a week of people...of meeting new people, of being acquainted with old friends, of making new friends, and learning new things about people. Throughout all of this, I have had my moments of happiness, of frustration, of understanding, of misunderstanding, but most of all, of being in touch with my own emotions. My own vulnerability. It's funny that I say "vulnerability" because just yesterday, at the conclusion of the week of all of this stuff, I received a video in an e-mail from Valerie telling me I needed to watch it. It was a researcher who studied people and their connections. Through it, she realized that the people who were most vulnerable, who were most eager to admit their feelings, to make connections, were the ones that were most happy and ok with themselves...they were ok with their vulnerability. Most people hide it and attempt to lock it away and not allow themselves to feel feelings or emotions that are not fun to emote. Crazy, right?
This week was also a week of moves. I met up with Melissa and her friend Rachel on Sunday. Melissa is Jamie's best friend from high school, and I have hung out with her on many occasions throughout the past 8 years. She just moved here so I met up. It's amazing how you can meet up with someone that you don't know super well, but everything clicks. The three of us had an amazing afternoon of just talking, laughing, and relaxing. It was actually really, really nice. Sometimes, it can be so hard to find people who share the same beliefs in life as you and are really just about living every day. Sounds weird, but it's kind of rare. Their good energy resonated with mine and I'm really looking forward to this friendship with them in the future.
Alaina moved here earlier this week. Alaina and I were friends at Wayne State. We were in shows together at the Bonstelle, and also shared the same African Dance class. She is a great energy to be around and I can always count on laughing a lot with her. I haven't really talked to her in the past couple of years, but I'm really glad she reached out to me when she moved here. She's a great actress and an extremely driven individual. She's leaving some of her stuff at my place while she apt searches. Luckily for her, though, she was able to transfer to the Red Lobster here in LA. So, she has a job after only a few days. NICE. When you're meant to be somewhere, it works out.
I picked up Crystal from the airport on Wednesday; she's in town just for the weekend...leaving today actually. We spent the car ride catching up on things. It was so nice to be hanging out with her again. Thursday I met up with her and her friend, Jayson, at a restaurant for dinner and drinks. It was such a great time, and here's why. We talked about everything. Of successes, of trials, of tribulations, of obstacles, of breakthroughs. Jayson is also an actor, and is now currently a co-star on a tv show. However, it took him a bit to get there. I already knew Crystal's story, but Jayson told me his. It was so nice to have someone just open up about probably one of the hardest parts of his lives. It was nice to hear, and sort of reassuring...if you believe it, you can do it. A lot of times, it's luck, but most of it is your heart. He was discussing this acting class that he was taking with this brilliant woman, and it sounded so similar to the things we did at Studio 5 that I absolutely loved. It was all about developing and honing in more on the imagination to create the character and the environment. He's supposed to give me more info on it...and as soon as I have a little extra cash, I'm signing up. What's amazing about this, is that a lot of people, and even actors, look at this type of class and kind of shrug it off. What they don't realize is that you need to have an expansive imagination, as well as the ability to tap into it, to make your acting incredible. If you believe it, the audience will believe it. This is a group of actors that I have found that believe in the same things I do, love the idea of amazing acting and continuously shaping your craft, and the ideal of doing more than the best you can do. These are the type of people I need to surround myself around as actors, and I have. Such an amazing evening.
On the contrary to the previous paragraph, you'd find it remarkable how many people move out here to be actors because they're pretty or beautiful. What people don't realize is that acting isn't just something you jump into; it's an actual profession. There's a lot that is involved with it. Mind you, these people may be cast because of their looks, but will their careers still be around in 50 years? Who's to say? What I do know, is that you get out of it what you put into it, like I say about anything. Fame and fortune shouldn't be the reason you act...you should be doing it because it is the one thing that you cannot see yourself living without.
I received a text from Whitney yesterday saying that she and Marnie talked to the new marketing directors at The Hallmark to find a way to bring me back for the second performance of "Tuesdays at 4" in March. They're currently working it out. How amazing is that?! I almost started crying because of the generosity and pure love of this project that everyone has now, and the belief in it. I don't know if I had mentioned this before, but after our first performance, we got asked to do a performance at NYU's Rusk Institute. So, they're in preparation for this performance. Obviously, I would love to be there, but finances are kind of holding me back. However, now, I may be able to go. We will see, and time will tell. What an amazing journey this will be, though. At this same exact time, I received a facebook message from a friend saying he is going to be working with a company in a few months that works a lot with the major studios and will try to help me in any way he can. It's amazing how people want to reach out and help in any way they can...I guess with sending out good energy, you must get good energy back in return. I try not to emit negative energy or thoughts...I mean, all it does is get in the way of what you're doing, what other people are doing, and just make for a miserable time for all. Why not smile, and fill someone with joy or happiness...such a better way to live.
When I first moved to California, the self confidence I had built within myself was sort of waning. It was sort of pushed down and concealed. It took me a bit, but I'm now at a good place with my self confidence again. Not just in acting, but in anything. I believe in myself. I believe in the things that I say, the disagreements that I make, the choices I make. That's such a big thing and a huge part of what makes each of individuals. I also cannot take on other roles if I don't first understand who I am or believe in myself. If I don't believe in myself, how can I believe in someone else/a character? Exactly. I'm continuing on the right path and I'm extremely excited about it.
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