A Look Back...

Well, it's that time of year...that time of change, of new year's resolutions, of goal setting, of a new year, and this time, a new decade altogether. It's also a time for reflection; a look back on the past year's successes, obstacles, life lessons, pivotal moments, friendships, and life changes. I don't know about you, but 2010 was a jam packed year filled with so much, it's hard to believe that it all happened in only 365 days. Amidst it all, I went through my own transformational changes as an individual growing into my own skin, and learning new things about myself. I've mentioned all of that before, but each moment in life really has an affect on a person and can ultimately change who they are. Here are some memorable events, good and bad, that have occurred in 2010. Below you will find sentences and thoughts; all of which are taken from my journals that I have kept and updated almost everyday through this year. There has been laughter, there has been tears, but all in all, it was a good year.

Rang in 2010 at "Carnival," a Coney Island Themed Bar near 14th St., Union Square in NYC with Julie and Rachel. Got a cold. Had some interesting dreams involving change. Started back up with the Intergenerational classes. Danced a Tango with Whitney for the seniors at the Hallmark. Got cast in "Dismissing Robert Fink" at the Manhattan Rep. Theatre. Had a rough day; prayed by the water. Danielle began making me an actor's website. Attended the NYC WSU Alumni get-together; re-connected with staff members and met former students. Had an amazing voice lesson. Had an audition; didn't get the role. Had another audition; didn't get the role. Asked for a raise because I can't pay my bills and I am doing more than my job duties; got denied. Had a breakthrough with the intergenerational class. My cousin passed away from a brain aneurysm. I cried...a lot. Began looking at life differently. Began questioning what I'm doing. Applied for a new job; was rejected. Applied for two others; was rejected by both. Had an audition; didn't get the role. Had a day of smiling and laughing. Had a breakthrough voice lesson. A snow storm hit NYC. Had an audition; had a breakthrough thought moment; realized I had a passion for film. A friend told me they were proud of me...for everything. Mr. Wall announced to the staff that when the health inspector came to The Hallmark, she said it was the best pool records/cleanest pool she's inspected. Received my "one year of service" certificate from The Hallmark. Had an inspirational dream. Helped a friend in need. Thought about moving to LA. Realized at work, I only get compliments from the residents, and complaints from the staff. Decided to move to LA. Worked out my plan and asked my friends in LA what they thought based on their knowledge of me; positive responses. Received positive feedback from friends. Received super negative feedback from friends. Attended an interview to be a banquet server; realized it wasn't right for me. Was re-inspired after a talk with Val and seeing "One Night, One Chair" at Studio 5. Laughed a lot at rehearsal for "Fink." Got frustrated at work. Danielle came to visit. We saw Mary Poppins, ate amazing pizza, and had dessert at Serendipity. Booked a trip to visit LA. Opened "Dismissing Robert Fink" to excellent and positive audience reactions. Found out a former co-worker was now a millionaire because she founded a website called "texts from last night." Realized an idea and the belief in it was all it took to be successful. "Fink" was extended for an extra night because of demand. A friend told me they believed in me wholeheartedly. An audience member at "Fink" recognized me from "Ampersand" and praised my talent. A resident told me I was exceptional. Worked the Hollywood themed party at The Hallmark. A resident from our class passed away; the last thing she said to me (at the Hollywood party) was "I love you." Re-evaluated important things in life. Sang "Good Thing Going" at Steven and Warren's master class; acting and singing was top notch and blew the class away; a high point. Went to Studio 5 and used one of Per's new "healing" masks; felt high and cleansed after. Read my first NYC journal; learned a lot. Re-read my Moscow journal. Realized I'm making the right decision to move. Was with Marnie and Whitney on the subway and someone came up to us saying "I must have just run into Ford Modeling Agency." We said no. His response "No, really. Stay beautiful; keep smiling." Jumped in the pool and rescued a resident. Found out Scream 4 was filming in MI for the summer; made a goal to be in that movie. Received an e-mail from a friend saying he believed in me. Visited Michigan for Easter. Was told I was anorexic because I had lost 15 lbs. since Christmas. Had a good time with friends and family. Got in a fight with a good friend because I've changed. Self confidence was being confused with conceitedness. Sat in the sun. Got my job back at the GPW pool for the summer as a lifeguard. Arrived in LA; felt a jolt of energy. Knew it was the correct move. Went to the beach. Hung out with good friends. Flew back to NYC rejuvenated and knowing I was doing what was right. Recorded a Glee audition. Co-choreographed and performed a line dance with Whitney at the "State Fair" themed party at The Hallmark. Had my tarot cards read at the party; proved the move was right. Began receiving skepticism and negative responses from friends for my decision to move. Was cast in "Buried" at the Looking Glass Theatre. Watched Crystal on CSI. Danielle graduated. Had brunch with Julie at an all you can drink sangria restaurant. Worked the Hawaiian themed party at The Hallmark. Was offered a promotion for the Head Guard position at GPW for the summer. Jeremy came to visit. Met Lea Michele. Received an e-mail from Nicole offering me a part time position in WSU admissions as their e-mail correspondent for the summer. Flew to Michigan for Clare and Nate's Wedding. Reunited with my friends. Ate chicken wings at the midnight bbq. Victoria and Jack asked me to stand up in their wedding. Was confronted by the exec director of The Hallmark and told I was an integral part of the place and I would be missed. I was shocked. Watched the "Lost" season finale. Made one of my favorite residents cry when I told her I wasn't going on vacation, but was in fact moving. Had a little "going away party" at Marnie's with Marns and Whit. We had sangria, dinner, coffee, laughed a lot, and they made me a slideshow and gift basket. My department at the Hallmark/the residents through me a surprise going away party. I was blown away by their compassion and love. I cried. They gave me money to help me on my way. I was told by a 94 year old woman that I had changed her life. I was told by others that I impacted their life, I was a grandchild to them, I would achieve great success, and that I was special. I had a joint going away party/birthday party with Julie and Val at a country bar with my friends. We laughed, we cried, we drank, I rode the mechanical bull. "Buried" opened and was a crowd favorite. JP came to move me back to MI. My last evening in NYC was spent eating dinner at P.J.'s in Battery Park with JP, Julie, and Marnie. Bank account hit zero for the third time in two years. Was promoted to Supervisor at the GPW pool. Had a hard time adjusting to Michigan life. Got a job as a waiter at Shogun; quit after two days. Met up with Crystal, talked about life. Was re-inspired. Signed with Real Style for extra work. Kicked a drunk guy out of the pool; had to call the police. Met up with Julie for Sangria in Ann Arbor. A guy peed on a child at the park; it became huge news, the media was having a frenzy, and the parents were going crazy. Went bowling with the lifeguards. Sang "Total Eclipse of the Heart" with eight friends at karaoke night, along with "Summer Nights" and "New York, New York." Marnie and Paula came to visit for the weekend. Had a second midnight bbq. Was cast as an extra in "The Reasonable Bunch" for three days. Danced with Demi Moore. Was cast as an extra in "Scream 4;" my goal for the summer happened. Was personally directed by Wes Craven. Planned and attended the lifeguard end of the year party. Was cast as a lead in a short film by Poison Apple Entertainment entitled "Hallowed End." Learned a lot from filming. Joined a gym. Visited Trish and some lifeguards at Grand Valley. Re-read the Harry Potter series. Was approved for and bought a 2011 Ford Focus - in my name. Ate lunch with Danielle at Plaza Mexico every Friday. One of my residents passed away suddenly. Hit the road to LA with mom. We were sick for the car ride. Stopped in Phoenix and had dinner with friends. Made it to LA. Signed my lease. Went to the beach, the Hollywood sign, Madame Tussaud's, Walk of Fame, with mom. Spent the day at Disneyland with mom. Job searched. Went on an audition; didn't get the part. Attended the "Skyline" premiere and after party and supported Crystal. Went on another audition; didn't get the part. Flew to New York to be in the production of "Tuesdays at 4" at the Museum of Jewish Heritage. Our dream of bringing our intergenerational class to the stage was happening. Met up with friends. The weekend was filled hugs, kisses, and love. The show was a success. I was told repeatedly by audience members that it "changed their life." Being back in NYC, I realized LA was the right move. Won a bag of Starbucks coffee. Read a book recommended to me "Breaking into Hollywood;" I realized I was at the "stage" in the book where I was ready to work. I cried because I had followed my heart and was now in the right place. I re-read "The Alchemist" for a fourth time; found new things within. Applying for jobs was now a full time job. Was cast in "Shudder" at Zombie Joe's Underground Theatre in North Hollywood. Was cast in a MFA Directing student's student film at UCLA. Had an amazing experience, was on a sound stage, and learned so much more about my craft. Had Thanksgiving at a neighbor's. Jeremy was in town; hung out with him. Was cast in the Project Student Film Company's acting troupe for their next four independent films. Began rehearsals for Shudder. Got a job offer at an assisted living facility; I declined. Got a job offer to teach zumba to seniors; I accepted. Got a job offer at Express; I declined. Got a job offer at Starbucks; I accepted. Got a call from the assisted living facility offering me more because they wanted me; I still declined. Starbucks offered me benefits and flexible hours. Started at Starbucks, quickly became friends with the employees. Taught my first zumba class; it was a success. It rained for about two weeks. Had a breakthrough at rehearsal. Flew home for Christmas. Best Christmas I've had in a long time. Saw friends, saw family, relaxed, laughed, smiled. Was welcomed back at Starbucks with friendly and warm greetings. Taught my second zumba class; it was a success. Drinking a cup of coffee and thinking about what movies to watch and bring in the new year with...

I wish you the happiest and healthiest of New Years. Cheers to you and to what 2011 has in store for you. Ring in the New Year with positive thoughts and good energy, and a year with that kind of energy will ensue.